Sexy Bitches Carry Red Keychains

Creepy Skittles Commercial

2009-03-25T22:45:00.001-04:00

I love these candies. The commercials? Not so much.

Big Guy, Little Woman

2008-07-15T13:25:00.000-04:00

Just plain strange.

Duo Connivence - A funny movie is a click away

Police arrest lesbians for 'torturing' boy, 5

2008-06-18T13:18:00.001-04:00

It's Shitty Parent Day here on SBCRK!

Read how this lesbian couple tortured and maimed their 5 yr old son, then abandoned him to try and pass off another child as theirs!

Horrible excuse for parents

2008-06-18T13:10:00.002-04:00

These two actually let their 18 month old toddlers starve to death and didn't "notice" until a week after they were dead.

The mother actually said "I don't think I fed them enough".

Shoot both the parents in the head..that's the only way to take care of this.

The Typical Mother's Day Revisited

2008-05-10T18:12:00.002-04:00

With Mother's Day looming just 6 hours away, I feel obligated to repost this entry I made last year on Mother's Day. Let's hope for a better one in 2008. for my husbands sake at least, it had better be.

At least typical for me.

Wake up at 8 to the sound of gently talking 10 month old. Ma-Ma, Ma-Ma. (this is a new word in the last week so it doesn't bother me...yet)

While feeding above mentioned 10 month old, told by the 6 yr old that everyone is up, and the hands on the clock are in the green (meaning that his modified bedroom clock says it's between 7:30 and 9am and he can get up now)

Breakfast for the older two. Playtime with the baby.

Husband off to work.

Wait, work? yes, for the third Mothers day in a row now... What fun!

Present made at school by the 6 yr old. Small plant he grew all by himself in a cup and a homemade card. My favorites. I will promise not to kill this plant too son, I will do my best.

The rest of the day is spent chasing the baby, reprimanding the 3 yr old for running/jumping/throwing things...again and listening to the 6 yr old ask "When's Dad coming home" every 5 minutes.

4:30pm. Dad is home, and sitting quietly with all the kids. Dammit. He must slip them a mickey when he comes in the door.

6pm. I run out for Popeyes chicken so I don't have to cook tonight. It's my only escape for the whole day. I cherish it and drive really slowly there and back.

Home for Dinner and fun with the kids.

Kids in bed at 9, quiet time for Mom and Dad. Quiet time is watching the Sopranos and Wind Tunnel on Speed Channel, then going to bed.

Oh yeah, he did tell me yesterday morning that he hoped I had a good mothers day.

And he forgot to call his own mother.

Welcome to my world.

The Queen has a new title

2008-05-07T11:41:00.002-04:00

Oh yeah, I like this title. I shall require that all my minions address me as such from now on.

Ball Buster - the Game

2008-05-07T11:24:00.003-04:00

Should have been a family favorite this whole time. I wish I had one.

What number is your fruit?

2008-05-07T11:14:00.006-04:00

I've gotten most of them memorized, from shopping for as much produce as I usually do, but have you ever wondered why the labels on the fruit are given the numbers they have?

Wonder no more.

There is a simple 3 category listing for fruits.

Conventional Fruit Labels

Four digits and does not start with 9 (they usually start with a 4)

Organic Fruit Labels

Five digits and starts with a 9

Genetically Modified Fruits

Start with the digit 8

EEK! Really? Now personally, I've never seen a genetically modified fruit in my local grocery store, and certainly not in my local farmers market. Rest assured though, I will keep an eye out from now on, and if I find one, my next stop will be a the managers office on the way out to complain loudly.

Hey Jude

2008-04-25T11:42:00.001-04:00

I have a girl about this age. This stuns me as much today as it did the first time I saw it. This kid has the rhythm down too, I can only imagine what's going on in that little head.

How did you find me?

2008-04-24T11:25:00.003-04:00

It seems as though my keyword searches leave something to be desired when related to my content.

Here's how some of you found me...

Google:

Big and Sexy Bitches (awesome, I'm not big of course, but I'm damned sexy!)
Earth Day Demotivator (once again, awesome...because I'm all about being Anti-Green)
Keychains for Mom (Sorry there buddy, I'm not selling them, I'm carrying them. Go get Mom a card for Mothers day, because giving her a keychain would suck as a gift)
guillermo habacuc vargas (WTF?)
Older Bitches (Hey now, I'm not even middle-aged yet!)

The Mother of all Coupon Lists

2008-04-22T11:33:00.012-04:00

Today's theme is Frugal. Videos to your left, and news to your right.

And most importantly, here it is...9 of the hottest and best places on the net to save money with coupons. Enjoy!

If you decide to join please use my email address I am
registered there with tmsclm@cox.net

http://www.afullcup.com/
(currently upgrading the site, but when it's back online, you'll love it!)

Artist Starves Dog to Death, now to be honored?

2008-04-22T10:12:00.005-04:00

From an email I received:

An "artist" from Costa Rica,
named Guillermo Habacuc Vargas,
put a starved dog as a work of art,
the poor dog died there, he did not
want anyone give him food or water.
This monster asked some children to
chase the dog and he paid them for
their dirty work to give him the
dog.In that event,(in which the
dog died) he was chosen to represent his country in the
"Bienal Centroamericana Honduras 2008", the petition site
is to sign to boycott him, so he won't can participate
in the event.

Here's the petition

Here's what Snopes has to say about it

The above-quoted petition began circulating in October 2007 and seeks to prevent Costa Rican artist Guillermo Vargas from representing his country in an upcoming multinational art exhibition (Bienal Centroamericana Honduras 2008) due to his involvement in producing a controversial display for an August 2007 art exhibit in Nicaragua that featured a stray dog allegedly captured from the streets and confined on a bare art gallery floor with no amenities (e.g., food, water, bedding, shelter, toys) until it starved to death. (The artist's point was supposedly to highlight the hypocrisy demonstrated by people's making an apparently sick and ill-fed dog the center of attention when it was presented as an art exhibit, even though many of them would ignore the same dog if they encountered it roaming the streets.)
Snopes can't confirm or deny as of yet...but you take a look at the pictures, and decide for yourself if this "art" is enough to have this man recognized for his display.

Vote accordingly.

My favorite inspirational image of all time

2008-04-21T13:12:00.002-04:00

In honor of the upcoming Earth Day

2008-04-01T13:40:00.003-04:00

Wanted: Mom

2007-11-05T10:19:00.001-05:00

POSITION : Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION : Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES : The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the Next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION : Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE : None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION : Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS : While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

This blog is rated..

2007-07-11T11:18:00.001-04:00

Mingle² - Online Dating

Demotivator of the Day

2007-06-29T10:19:00.001-04:00

Darth is thirsty

2007-06-28T10:40:00.000-04:00

Awesome - Ice rules

2007-06-28T10:24:00.000-04:00

My new hero...The Fruitcake Lady

2007-06-27T12:17:00.000-04:00

She's friggin awesome!

Beat Box Fame Game

2007-06-26T14:28:00.000-04:00

WOW

The Typical Mothers Day

2007-05-14T12:03:00.000-04:00

At least typical for me.

Wake up at 8 to the sound of gently talking 10 month old. Ma-Ma, Ma-Ma. (this is a new word in the last week so it doesn't bother me...yet)

While feeding above mentioned 10 month old, told by the 6 yr old that everyone is up, and the hands on the clock are in the green (meaning that his modified bedroom clock says it's between 7:30 and 9am and he can get up now)

Breakfast for the older two. Playtime with the baby.

Husband off to work.

Wait, work? yes, for the third Mothers day in a row now... What fun!

Present made at school by the 6 yr old. Small plant he grew all by himself in a cup and a homemade card. My favorites. I will promise not to kill this plant too son, I will do my best.

The rest of the day is spent chasing the baby, reprimanding the 3 yr old for running/jumping/throwing things...again and listening to the 6 yr old ask "When's Dad coming home" every 5 minutes.

4:30pm. Dad is home, and sitting quietly with all the kids. Dammit. He must slip them a mickey when he comes in the door.

6pm. I run out for Popeyes chicken so I don't have to cook tonight. It's my only escape for the whole day. I cherish it and drive really slowly there and back.

Home for Dinner and fun with the kids.

Kids in bed at 9, quiet time for Mom and Dad. Quiet time is watching the Sopranos and Wind Tunnel on Speed Channel, then going to bed.

Oh yeah, he did tell me yesterday morning that he hoped I had a good mothers day.

And he forgot to call his own mother.

Welcome to my world.

The worst word of all...

2007-05-03T10:09:00.000-04:00

My 6 yr old asked me a couple of weeks ago what it meant when you stick your middle finger up. I told him that it’s a very bad gesture, and he should never do it, because it will make people very angry. He was content with that, and moved on.

Last week, I got a phone call from his school. He was in the principals office for…guess what…flipping the bird in class.
*sigh*
So off I go to pick him up that afternoon, and I ask him what happened. He told me it was not just him, but a bunch of his friends cutting up in class. He did admit to being the first one to do it though, which is what I was afraid of.

So again, I told him what it meant. This time I used the word. I asked him what the worst word he knew was. He said “the word that starts with F, right Mom?”

Yes son, that word. The most awful word there is. And did you know that sticking up your middle finger is sign language for that word?

Stunned silence.

“No Mom, I had no idea that’s what it meant.”

So you’re not going to do it again, are you?

“Never Mom, I promise.”

See, I should have told him when he first asked about it. Don’t hide things from your kids. It always comes back to bite you in the ass.

I have to admit though, I snickered pretty hard when I hung up with the principal that day.

New Kid Friendly website you should see

2007-04-30T13:18:00.000-04:00

A friend has launched a new website...reviewing restaurants on their "kid appeal".

Check it out.

http://www.kidfriendlynetwork.com

My big boy turns 6

2007-04-24T14:01:00.001-04:00

My oldest just turned 6 on Friday. That may not seem like a long time to those of you with older children, but it makes me sad and proud to see him so grown up.

On April 18th, 2001at 9am, I checked into the hospital to be induced. It was my first pregnancy, so I was as green as a forest. The husband and I waited…and waited, while the pitocin was increased higher and higher. It started at 9am, and at 7pm, the doctor decided that it wasn’t going to happen that night. Let’s turn off the drip and let you get some sleep, he said.

Yeah right.

7:30pm Drip turned off
8pm Husband ran for subway subs…which I couldn’t eat anyway
11pm IV relocated three times (grrr….)
and woken up every hour on the hour after that by a nurse doing SOMETHING in my room.

6am the next morning, pitocin restarted and ready to go.

More waiting.

At 4:30 I decide screw this whole “you can’t have anything to drink” thing and take a big swig of my husbands Sprite. About 1 minute later, my water broke. By the time ER was off that night, I was pushing. 2.5 hours later, I welcomed my big boy into this world.

Funniest thing about it? He was supposed to be a girl. 3 ultrasounds told me he was a girl. He decided differently, and must have been hiding the frank and beans the whole 9 months.

It’s been 6 years since that night…the night that changed my life. My 8lb 14oz baby boy is now 49 inches tall, and weighs 65 lbs. He is my hero, he is my baby, he is my big man.

Happy Birthday to you S. Mom loves you more than you’ll ever know.

Last video taken of Steve Irwin

2007-04-23T12:29:00.000-04:00

*snicker*

While you were watching the Va Tech news coverage...

2007-04-19T10:11:00.000-04:00

Partial birth abortions were BANNED

For the first time since Roe v Wade, the Supreme Court has banned a specific method of abortion...and it's about time.

Don't feed the bears

2007-04-19T06:43:00.000-04:00

Spicy Meals...like live electrical wires

Thoughts of Dave Berry

2007-04-17T14:45:00.000-04:00

"Fourteen Things That It Took Me Over50 Years To Learn" by Dave Barry

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
You should not confuse your career with your life.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
Never lick a steak knife.
The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment
There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
Your friends love you anyway.

What's it look like?

2007-04-12T09:13:00.000-04:00

My husband has a guy working for him that's currently spending a couple of weeks in jail for a DUI. That's not the point of this, I'm only including it for relevance in the story, so don't leave me comments about it.

As a result of these few weeks out of work, my husband has had to take up the slack and work some odd shifts...most of which require him to be away from home at night when the kids go to bed. This upsets our normal routine, which involves both he and I reading to the kids, giving good night kisses and tucks.

My husband picked him up from kindergarten yesterday, and the ride home went like this.

"Did Mom tell you why I'm working so much lately?"

"No, she didn't"

"Well...this guy that's working for me is in jail for a few weeks, and I'll have to work alot to make up for him not being there"

"Oh. OK. Hey Dad, will you do me a favor?"

"Sure, what?"

"Well, when he gets out of jail, will you ask him to tell me what it looks like on the inside?"

"Sure buddy, I'll ask him"

"Yessssss! (complete with pumping fist)"

Dove Commercial

2007-04-10T10:13:00.000-04:00

Dove says "Watch what we can't show you on tv"

Well, why not? Would you be offended if you saw this on television? I wouldn't be.

I'm a nerd

2007-04-09T10:37:00.001-04:00

I had suspected this all along.

Layin Mah Eggs

2007-04-09T09:45:00.001-04:00

I can't help but laugh.

stop lukin i’s layin mah eggz

Where's Mommies Candy?

2007-04-09T09:40:00.001-04:00

My 5 yr old wasn’t too excited about Easter this year. I can’t for the life of me figure out why a child wouldn’t be overjoyed at the thought of a bunny rabbit the size of a grown man sneaking into his house while he sleeps and leaving various assorted goodies on the kitchen table. Why would that thought concern anyone?

More prevalent on his mind this holiday however, was why the easter bunny didn’t bring Mommy any candy. He asked me on Friday if he could leave a note for the rabbit asking him to leave me candy as well. I told him it wasn’t necessary, and that I got lots of candy as a child. I don’t need any now that I’m grown (and my teeth and hips certainly don’t need any either). He wasn’t satisfied with this answer, telling me it wasn’t fair for he and his brother to get it all, with none for Mom. I said, fine, leave the rabbit a note, and we’ll see what happens.

Miraculously, on Easter morning, there was a package of Orange Hershey Kisses lying in front of my spot at the kitchen table. Funny how he didn’t notice until he was halfway through his “Hot Wheels Hollow Milk Chocolate Bunny with Racecar candy inside”. His response?

MOM! The Easter Bunny read my note! Look, he left you a bag of candy too.
That’s awesome buddy, I’ll have a few later. Thanks for asking him.

This morning, I tossed the empty bag of Orange Hershey Kisses into the trash as I munched on the last one. Now I really know why the Easter Bunny doesn’t leave candy for the adults. We eat it faster than the kids do.

Good Friday

2007-04-06T15:41:00.000-04:00

Well, not for that reason. I just spent the whole afternoon kid-less and cleaned my house. But that's not why it was good either.

It's good friday because my husband helped me clean :)

Fan-freakin-tastic.

Happy holidays everyone!

Ask Me Anything

2007-04-04T09:11:00.000-04:00

Rules are… Well..there are no rules.
Ask me 5 questions on any topic.. I’ll answer anything. Leave your questions in the comment box and i’ll have them answered by midnight tonight.

Thanks!

Here they are:

Have you ever experienced infidelity?

I had a boyfriend cheat on me when we were in college. I caught him with another girl after class one day. I got rid of him shortly thereafter. About a week later, my keys ran into the side of his car in a parking lot. Actually, ran into isn't as accurate as slid down the side with great force.

What have you always wanted for yourself that you never got?

A 1970 Monte Carlo. I love that car more than I can explain. One day the husband will have time to restore one for me.

Do other peoples children annoy you?

Not as much as they used to before I had kids of my own. The Mom version of me is much more tolerant than the old version.

Are there people on WAHM.com that you would like to ring around the neck?

Usually at least one or two...but they rotate like tires. The ones to annoy me today probably won't annoy me tomorrow.

Have you ever farted in church?

I can't remember that far back, but I'm sure I did. I got called once in the middle of a service for making out with my boyfriend on the 5th pew. Does that count?

Pulsate Olympics - My father's broken heart

2007-04-04T09:00:00.000-04:00

At Thordora's request, I'm submitting an entry into a contest sponsored by GNMParents. I humbly submit as requested...

I used to bowl with my husband once a week in a league. We spent every Tuesday night from 6:30pm to 9pm being a couple, and not parents. When those evenings ended, we gathered up our children and brought them home to tuck them snugly and safely in their beds.

On Tuesday, January 11th 2005, we did just that. Brought our kids home, kissed them good night, and tucked them in bed. That night during our kisses and tucks, we were interrupted by a phone call. My husband answered and then quickly passed the phone to me, where I was informed that my father had just died. I told the caller I would return their call in a few minutes, hung up the phone and returned to my children to finish my goodnights.

When I returned the phone call, I found out that my father, a long haul truck driver, had been riding with his driving partner in Tennessee, when he began feeling uncomfortable with minor chest pain. He quickly went from minor chest pain to complete heart failure. He suffered a major heart attack and was dead within a few minutes. The driver had pulled off the road on an exit to assist him. The exit just happened to be the exit for a medical center. Even though paramedics were there within minutes, there was no helping him. My father was 48 yrs old, with no history of heart problems, and in generally good health.

As I struggled to contact my family members, and make arrangements for the drive to his hometown (about 4 hours from mine), I knew I would have to approach my 3 year old son with the news. I had no idea how to bring this topic up with him, considering how much he loved his grandfather. We decided the best route was to tell him straight out…his grandfather was gone, wouldn’t be able to play with him or see him anymore, because his heart was broken and they couldn’t fix it.

I miss you Dad. My boys miss you. I’m sorry for all the things you won’t get to see. I’m sorry my children can’t come to stay with you over the summers, like you wanted. I’m sorry you never got to meet your granddaughter. My son talks about you almost daily still, even two years later.

And just so you know, my heart is broken too, and no one has been able to fix it either.

Krispy Kreme Flies

2007-04-02T14:40:00.000-04:00

I walk into the kitchen tonight, where my sons are eating dinner.

"Mom, there's a fly in here"
"Where is he?"
"Over there. Don't you see him? He's a Krispy Kreme fly"
"What's a Krispy Kreme fly?"
"Krispy Kreme flies have holes in the middle"

The Official Loss of Freedom

2007-04-02T09:11:00.001-04:00

My husband has a weekly night out with the boys on Wednesdays. He goes out after work, and stays out until usually midnight or later having a few beers, playing darts, just general guy fun. I used to do this with him (as I’ve always enjoyed hanging out with the guys instead of the girls) and we always had a blast.

Recently though, with my son’s medical problems and the general load of having 3 kids, I haven’t been able to participate as much as I wanted. It’s hard to find a way to get out once a week to have a good time…unless you’re the Dad that is.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge him for having this time to himself. Yes, it makes me angry some nights when he promises to be home at a certain time and doesn’t make it. It does make me angry when I tell the kids he’ll make it by dinner, and he’s 2 hours late, I’ll admit. But it didn’t occur to me until last night why exactly that does make me angry. It’s his freedom.

You see, I get up in the morning and HAVE TO be at work at a certain time. I HAVE TO leave at a certain time to get my son from school. I HAVE TO be at the house to pick up my other two kids. I HAVE TO have them home for dinner and I HAVE TO make dinner for them. I HAVE TO have them in bed by bedtime and I HAVE TO be in bed myself in order to repeat the entire process the next day. Even on the weekends, I HAVE TO get up by a certain time to get them up and ready for the day.

Now my husband on the other hand, doesn’t have the limitations on freedom. His day goes like this…he HAS TO get up in the am and HAS to get the oldest ready for school, then HAS TO have the others over to childcare before he HAS to go to work…but that’s where it ends. He leaves whenever he is done with work (which sometimes is really late) and he doesn’t have to be home by any certain time. He goes out with his friends, and there’s no time he has to be back. He went out with them all weekend for a special event this weekend, and he came home whenever he felt like it. Meanwhile, I’m stuck in my HAVE TO world.

He wonders why it pisses me off when he’s 2 or 3 hours late sometimes. I’ve often wondered that myself. He thinks it’s because I’d rather be out with him, and to an extent, he’s right. Just recently though, I figured out I’m not angry at his being out, I’m angry about his freedom to do as he wishes when he does go out. Even on the nights when I’m out having fun (once every 6 months or so), I still HAVE TO be home at a certain time, because life doesn’t stop if Mom is out having a beer or two. Laundry still needs to be done, dishes still have to be washed, kids still need baths, etc.

When does Mom get the day of freedom? Do I need to go out of town and stay at a posh hotel with room service, and a hot, sweaty cabana boy at my beck and call? Well now, that doesn’t really sound like a bad idea, does it?

My new favorite band...and song

2007-03-29T20:06:00.000-04:00

Psychostick.

See them here
http://psychostick.com/default.php

Listen to the song here
http://psychostick.com/beer_small.htm

Buy their cd...trust me.

How does your marriage balance?

2007-03-29T10:23:00.001-04:00

I got to thinking this morning. Wondering how the balance settles in my house. What does my husband do, and what do I do, does it equal out, etc. So I decided to make a list. Let’s see what he does in an average week.

His list:

· Gets the kids ready every morning for school and childcare
· Takes out the trash
· Recycling
· Does some laundry
· Diapers
· Keeps cars running/legal/etc
· All yard work
· All household repairs
· Grills
· All the “family” driving (when I’m not running errands myself)
· Helps with homework
· Kills the Bugs J

My list:

· Laundry
· Groceries
· All shopping
· All housework
· Bathtimes for the kids
· Cooking
· Dishes
· Put the kids to bed at night alone when he’s not home

His list is longer than mine, but I think it works out pretty even. All in all, I don’t think I could ask for much more. I officially have one of the worlds best husbands. I think I’ll call and tell him that.

I've been Tagged - Gotta Get Goals

2007-03-29T10:01:00.000-04:00

I've been 'tagged' with a challenge by http://coffeeshopchatter.blogspot.com/

For this challenge, I need to share with you my top 5-10 outrageous goals, in no particular order.

Goal #1 - Complete Financial Independance. I'd like to have more money than god.
Goal #2 - A healthy, normal life for my son.
Goal #3 - To make my mother and father proud. They both passed away in the past 10 years, and I'd like to live a life that would make them proud.
Goal #4 - To not be indebted to anyone. This means financially, or physically.
Goal #5 - To see my grandchildren have children. I want to live a long and prosperous life, with tons of children surrounding me in my last days.

I'm tagging the following folks to complete this task with me:

AdoringlyM.blogspot.com

karriew.wordpress.com

Let's get moving ladies!

I will miss my uterus

2007-03-28T12:59:00.000-04:00

I have 3 kids.

-I usually have to stop for a second and breathe after saying that-

The decision to have 3 was not one that we came to an agreement on, but rather one that was placed in our laps. Regrets? I have none. I love my three children with all of my heart and soul and wouldn't have done it any other way. But, unlike Dick Van Patten, three is enough for me.

I have decided to say goodbye to the baby-making oven. This is not a choice that I made willy-nilly, I gave it some thought...alot of thought. And I think I'm done with the baby-making days. Three children is a full-time job with overtime. Constant concerns with their well-being, their happiness and their health overwhelms me at every turn. I cannot spend more than 10 minutes each day without thinking about at least one of the children. They are my life. Now, the part of me that gave them life is being taken away.

Am I sad? Yes, I'd say I'm sad. I worked really hard to make three healthy beautiful kids, and I'm sad that I won't be able to do that again.

Will I regret it? Probably not. I have no intention of having more kids, so it's not logically necessary for me to keep the baby-making parts any longer.

Does it make me less of a woman? Oh hell, you've got to be kidding me there. I'm more woman than most others out there BECAUSE I have kids.

So next month I will say goodbye to my good friend. She has served me and my family well, but now it's time to part ways. Bon voyage old girl, you will be missed. I will drink a beer in your honor.

(Then I'll watch my husband wait on me hand and foot for a few days! I'll pretend it's christmas.)

A case of the humans

2007-03-26T09:17:00.001-04:00

These are not the Sea Monkeys I remember...

2007-03-23T10:19:00.000-04:00

from worth 1000

Bad Mommy...Bad Bad Mommy

2007-03-23T08:53:00.000-04:00

She was trying to help she says...right.

Couple gets probation for "educational" sex

A Rhode Island woman who routinely had sex with her boyfriend in front of her 9-year-old daughter to teach her about sex was sentenced to three years' probation, authorities said Tuesday.

Rebecca Arnold, 37, and David Prata, 33, who received the same sentence this week, told investigators they thought the practice would help the child to learn, prosecutors said.

read more...

I remember being about 11 years old and stumbling in on my mother and her husband while in the act. It certainly didn't help me to learn about sex. What it did was scar me for life. Nice parenting lady.

You MUST see these pictures

2007-03-22T10:03:00.000-04:00

Free for you - March 21

2007-03-21T10:27:00.000-04:00

Dove Energy Glow

Free Beautiful Woman Magazine

Free Carnation Instant Breakfast

Are you a Hot Mom?

2007-03-21T09:10:00.000-04:00

Get a free magnet and proclaim it to the world!

I just wanna roll around in it

2007-03-21T08:09:00.000-04:00

$206 Million Dollars....in $100 bills.

They know my voice

2007-03-19T11:15:00.000-04:00

I like the fact that I can go to my local tobacco purveyor and be greeted with a sincere Hello! when I walk in the door.

I like the fact that I've lived here so long that alot of the customer service folks I interact with regularly remember me.

What I don't like is calling my son's neurologist and being recognized by voice when I say Hello. That is the low point of my day. It seems as though I've called so many times in the last 5 months that everyone at the front desk knows when I call, to automatically go get Barbara. "Oh good morning dear, let me get Barbara for you"

grrr.

Observations of a 5 year old

2007-03-17T18:25:00.000-04:00

My 5 year old son hit me with a comment today that caught me off guard.

"Mom, all the people in my family have white skin."

Now that sounds innocent doesn't it? I mean, he is 5 years old, and he's becoming more aware of the world around him, as well as being exposed to new things every day. Why does that comment sadden me a bit?

We have spent the last 5 years trying to teach my son that the world around him was colorless. We have made no mention of color or differences related to anyone or anything, knowing that one day he would make these connections on his own. He has, up until this point, been innocent in all matters color related.

Even when he started kindergarten this year he made no mention of the kids in his class, a very diverse group. When he described these kids to us, his new friends, we never asked him what color they were, or what they looked like, he always told us "his hair is like mine" or "she wears ponytails every day". That was fantastic with me. It appeared that he didn't notice, or at least, didn't associate these differences with the big picture.

Today however, I find that he's matured to the point that he thinks about it. He's still my baby, and completely innocent (and I'd like to keep him that way forever), but now he's crossed over into another phase in his life. Hopefully this colorblind world that we've tried to provide for him will influence this portion of his life, and all portions going forward. We have tried our best, and it is now crystal clear that from this point on, we will begin to see the effect of our influences, good or bad. Let's all cheer for good.

As for my reaction to his comment, I simply stated "yes, that's right buddy, now go pick up your toys off the floor"

This isn't the time for enlightenment, it's time to pick up toys.

Montana Meth Ads

2007-03-16T13:45:00.001-04:00

Disturbing, frightening, and right on the money.

Good for them. I hope this wakes some kids up before they step into this world.

Here's the full story. Watch the commercials.

Bullfighter gets what he deserves

2007-03-15T14:39:00.000-04:00

And thankfully, he may not be able to reproduce himself afterwards.

quote""Fernando Cruz is suffering from two horn wounds of 25 centimeters in length each. One involves the fibers of the abductor muscle and dissects the femoral artery, the other involves the scrotal area and eviscerates both testicles."

Good for the bull. I love to see them get in a good one before they are tortured to death. I only wished it had pierced something more important than his groin.

You're an island unto yourself

2007-03-15T08:37:00.000-04:00

Or at least your house is.

Sometimes it's not worth it to fight the system. If they want your house, give it to them...or invest in some parachutes.

Rock and Roll Hall of Shame

2007-03-13T09:01:00.000-04:00

Well they did it. Last night they inducted their first hip-hop artist. Grandmaster Flash received an induction into the "rock and roll" hall of fame. Anyone see the problem here?

Rock and Roll does not equal Hip Hop. Period.

Hip hop has it's own place in music history, I'll give it that. It gave birth to an entirely new genre of music, and an entirely new group of music fans. But it's not rock and roll.

Melle Mel had this to say "The fact that we're in the Hall of Fame speaks volumes," said Melle Mel. "People try to separate hip-hop music like it stands alone, but it really doesn't. We're in with all the great groups in the history of music. It further legitimizes hip-hop."

Yeah, you're in with the great groups of rock and roll in the history of music.

Grandmaster Flash shouldn't be in the rock and roll hall of fame anymore than groups like Ratt and Stryper should. But we'll have to see next year if they're on the list. Maybe they'll bring in Billy Ray Cyrus too.

Psst honey, let the cat in, would you?

2007-03-12T14:40:00.000-04:00

Holy crap.

Richard Jeni dead at age 49

2007-03-12T14:27:00.000-04:00

Apparently Richard Jeni has committed suicide this weekend. CNN has decided to post the scariest picture of him they could find.

Nice huh?

I never thought he was funny anyway.

Do you have your red keychain?

2007-03-12T12:33:00.000-04:00

Are you irreverent?
Do you tell people what you think?
You need a Red Keychain!

Copy the code below, and paste it into your website.

Once this is complete, mail me at shelshell@gmail.com and give me the url where it’s located.
Once I verify you’ve got it up on your site, I’ll add you to my blogroll.

If you want to send me your snail mail addy, I’ll send you an actual red keychain, so you can proudly proclaim it to the world!

I love the Food Network but...

2007-03-12T00:49:00.000-04:00

I can't stand Bobby Flay.

I'm a huge Food Network fan. I watch everything Alton Brown puts on television (he's a genius and should have been my personal chef), but this Bobby Flay thing is getting out of hand. I saw him on an episode of Iron Chef America tonight, and he pulled off yet another win because of his "southwestern" flair.

Let me tell you something. All Bobby Flay seems to do on the Iron Chef is make sauce. His sous chefs do all the work, plus some, and he stands in one spot making a different sauce for each plate. To me, that's not what Iron Chef is all about. Any good sous chef could pull off the same task, and have Flay take the credit.

On the other hand, Alton Brown shines in everything he does. He's funny, entertaining and educational at the same time. Something that's extremely hard to pull off on television. I anxiously await his attempt at becoming an "Iron Chef". Personally, I'd love to see him put a whoopin on Flay.

Let the Battle Begin!

Happy Birthday Dad

2007-03-09T14:09:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Dad. It's been over two years since I've seen you. Here's what you have missed.

My oldest is now 5, and been included in the gifted program at his school. He's doing so well, and growing so fast. You'd be very proud of him if you saw him.

My 3 yr old has epilepsy, and he's not doing so hot, but much better than he was 3 months ago.

Oh yeah, and we have a little girl now too. She's 8 months old and she's a ball of fire. We named her after Mom, and she's got her attitude.

The kids miss you terribly. The oldest talks about you almost every day. We still have your pictures up on the wall, and it's a sad reminder of the way things used to be. They miss talking to you and seeing you. You were such a huge part of their lives.

When I got the phone call that you'd had a heart attack, I couldn't believe it. You were so young, and had so much life ahead of you. It's so unfair, really. I think about how much fun my children will miss out on because you're not here. I think how awful it is that you never met your grandaughter, and how much you wanted to have one. I hope that you're watching over us and loving us still, because sometimes I can still feel it.

Happy Birthday Dad. I miss you.

Say Something to Prevent Cervical Cancer

2007-03-08T12:03:00.001-05:00

Receive a great free kit and information on spreading the word about Cervical Cancer
http://www.say-something.org

I am not a lady

2007-03-08T10:58:00.000-05:00

I do not

spend hours on my hair
spend more than 2 minutes on makeup
dress in frilly lacy pink clothing
like to sip tea on the veranda
faint at the sight of a bug

I do, however

enjoy the occasional nascar/formula 1/champcar/motorcycle race
ride on motorcycles
understand engines and motors
love old muscle cars
have more male friends then female
enjoy a nice cold beer and not a frilly drink with an umbrella

Now what does this make me? Am I any less of a woman because I enjoy these non-womanly things? Hell no it doesn't. I am 100% woman. I'm married a wonderful man. I've got 3 wonderful kids. Just because I'd rather BS with the guys than gossip with the women doesn't change the fact that I'm my own definition of the word "lady".

So what am I if not a lady?

I'm a doctor
I'm a bartender
I'm a project leader
I'm a chef
I'm a maid
I'm a partner
I'm an educator
I'm a superhero

And for my daughter, I'm a role model. Be what you want to be, what you are inside. Not what people tell you to be.

Sixth Graders Had Sex in Class

2007-03-07T14:31:00.000-05:00

Yes it's true, and the teachers are being told to keep quiet about it.

Unbelievable.

13 Investigates was tipped off by a disturbed resident who writes:

"...during school hours in a classroom with an experienced teacher present, two sixth graders completed the act of intercourse...at least ten students were witnesses. No disciplinary actions were taken against the teacher... All teachers were told to keep quiet."

Do you wear your seat belt?

2007-03-07T13:36:00.000-05:00

Nice editing in this video

I didn't win the lottery

2007-03-07T09:19:00.000-05:00

I was hoping to come on here this morning and report that I was moving far away from everything I knew because I now had $370 million dollars to spend. Sadly though, my numbers didn't hit. So it's back to the grind.

Poetry from a Man and a Woman

2007-03-07T09:08:00.000-05:00

WOMAN'S POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend.

MAN'S POEM

I pray for a rich deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This doesn't rhyme and I don't care.

The circus is great, but the people suck.

2007-03-06T14:04:00.001-05:00

We decided to take the kids to the circus this weekend. Despite my hopes, there were no Peta cronies to bash my way through upon entry. I was really hoping for an excuse to work out some pent up aggression, but sadly, no dice.

This year for Ringling Bros, if you haven’t seen it, is called BelloBration. Named so because of the star…Bello. He is a clown, from my understanding, but he steals the show. He not only made for a very entertaining afternoon with his antics, but he also participated in some of the acrobatics. He dangled from the sway poles, he hung from the ceiling, and he ran the wheel of death (my personal favorite thing at the circus).

It cost us $107 for a family of four to go, but it was well worth it for the entertainment it provided for the kids.

The crowd could have benefitted from a little more “book-learning” in their lives however. At 3 different points in the performance, women around us stood up, crossed over all 8 of our feet and trekked off in search of some overly expensive snack items to stuff in their faces. After being gone for approximately 6 steps, they realized they needed money to purchase those items, so they had to step back over us again to retrieve their wallets. I never thought about taking money to buy things at the circus. I figured they would just give it to me if I asked nicely.
Lastly, the other mothers need a lesson in realizing that the world doesn’t solely revolve around them. I had my two children with me, ages 3 and 5. They were very well behaved and quiet the whole time, because we made sure they were. We realize that we’re not the only couple that paid a c-note to watch this show, and it’s not fair for our kids to ruin their experience.
The lady behind me didn’t know this. Or didn’t care. Either way, only after I gave her child the evil eye twice, and my husband remarked about the childs lack of parental influence, did she finally make him stop kicking our seat back.

There is only one rule when you’re participating in a paid event with about 5000 other paying customers.

Don’t be an asshole.

And yes, if you allow your kids to run amok and disturb other patrons, I’m talking to you. I make sure my kids are not disturbing anyone else. If I can do it, why can’t you?

Watching Movies Makes Kids Smoke?

2007-03-06T12:15:00.000-05:00

This story was published today on Reuters.

I for one, don't buy it. I started smoking when I was 17. Why? Because my Mom did, and she left her smokes lying on the coffee table one night after she went to bed. It had nothing to do with how many R movies I watched as a child.

Here's an interesting point in this article...

It noted that previous studies had found more than three-fourths of youngsters of all races between ages of 10 and 14 said they watched R-rated movies at home without parental permission.

So if all these kids ages 10-14 are sitting at home watching R movies, where are their parents? Maybe it's not the influence of the movies on these children, but rather the lack of parental influence? My children don't watch anything I don't allow them to, period. Maybe others should take a clue and practice the same thing. How can you educate and instruct your children if you don't know what they're doing?

Perhaps if my mother didn't leave her smokes lying around, I'd have never picked them up?

Perhaps after 16 years of smoking now, I should probably quit before my kids take up the same habit?

My Spicy Meatball

2007-03-06T10:08:00.000-05:00

Juan Pablo Montoya has breathed new life into the Nascar world.

At least for me that is.

I have been watching this man race since his time in the Champcar World Series, all the way through his run at Formula 1 and now I get to stare at him all weekend in Nascar and Busch races. I couldn't be happier.

And he's already won his first race.

Congratulations Juan Pablo...